About five years ago I worked at a bar. I was closing up and the bouncer, the bartender, everybody else had left. I locked up, left the keys at the front desk (it was in a hotel), and started walking to a convenience store next door. Three men came from around the corner of the bar and started RUNNING after me. I ran into the bathroom at the gas station and locked the door.
They stood outside beating on the door, asking me to come out. I sat on the floor in the middle of the nastiest bathroom in history, crying hysterically. Dumped out my purse. I had NOTHING to defend myself with. My cell phone was dead. Not even a set of keys. I was trapped in that bathroom for hours. Crying, hoping and praying they would just leave. This was a two hour ordeal. Me trapped in a prison, with the big bad wolves outside. the only thing that stopped me from being hurt was the fact that I thought enough to lock myself in that bathroom. Eventually the attendant woke up from his nap (seriously) and called the cops. He could here me whimpering in the bathroom. I knew that I was LESS than those men outside that bathroom that night. I knew if it had come down to it, I would have easily wound up dead, raped, kidnapped, etc.
I bought pepper spray after the incident. A small thing but it was confidence in a bottle. Would I spray myself in the face if I had had to of used it? Probably. However, it made me able to go back to that bar and work. It gave me the confidence that I wasn't going to be a statistic. I was still terrified but I needed something, anything to give me the ability to not live in fear.
Then the truth hit me one day. As much as I desired equality to men, in my current physical state I was inferior. I was weak. Men are naturally stronger than women and physically superior to women. As an overweight, out of shape, mother of five, I was a slave. Locked into a "I can't get into shape mentality." So, I changed my mind. Then I changed my life. I started dieting and exercising. I lost 80 lbs. I got my concealed carry license. I am now working on building up muscle and in two weeks I am starting training for a Warrior Run in my local area in September. My ultimate goal is to be able to meet the ONA's physical fitness requirements (they seem doable, imo).
Why is this important, you may be asking? Simple. Fear vs. Self Confidence. It is a known statistical fact that a woman that doesn't APPEAR afraid is less likely to be a victim of a violent attack. It's one of the first axioms of any self defense class. Don't look down, look confident. People that want to commit a violent attack (rape, mugging, etc) are looking for a victim, someone who appears weak. Fear causes very specific body language and violent offenders can see it, smell it, and taste it.
To me, self confidence is in direct correlation with rather you can and would fight back if attacked. If you could actually take that fucker down if he came after you. Making yourself a predator as opposed to prey. If you KNOW you can defend yourself, it shows. Your body language and general attitude change.
Since Satanism is a Warrior Ethos largely and a path of self empowerment, your ability to defend yourself should be a cornerstone. It is to me. The physical should mirror the spiritual (can't find a better word). Otherwise it's mental masturbation, without true manifestation.
So let me ask you few questions, do you think Satan would hide in a bathroom crying or would Satan have been armed and capable of fighting back? If you are a Satan, what would you do in that situation? Are you mentally and physically prepared to fight back?
They stood outside beating on the door, asking me to come out. I sat on the floor in the middle of the nastiest bathroom in history, crying hysterically. Dumped out my purse. I had NOTHING to defend myself with. My cell phone was dead. Not even a set of keys. I was trapped in that bathroom for hours. Crying, hoping and praying they would just leave. This was a two hour ordeal. Me trapped in a prison, with the big bad wolves outside. the only thing that stopped me from being hurt was the fact that I thought enough to lock myself in that bathroom. Eventually the attendant woke up from his nap (seriously) and called the cops. He could here me whimpering in the bathroom. I knew that I was LESS than those men outside that bathroom that night. I knew if it had come down to it, I would have easily wound up dead, raped, kidnapped, etc.
I bought pepper spray after the incident. A small thing but it was confidence in a bottle. Would I spray myself in the face if I had had to of used it? Probably. However, it made me able to go back to that bar and work. It gave me the confidence that I wasn't going to be a statistic. I was still terrified but I needed something, anything to give me the ability to not live in fear.
Then the truth hit me one day. As much as I desired equality to men, in my current physical state I was inferior. I was weak. Men are naturally stronger than women and physically superior to women. As an overweight, out of shape, mother of five, I was a slave. Locked into a "I can't get into shape mentality." So, I changed my mind. Then I changed my life. I started dieting and exercising. I lost 80 lbs. I got my concealed carry license. I am now working on building up muscle and in two weeks I am starting training for a Warrior Run in my local area in September. My ultimate goal is to be able to meet the ONA's physical fitness requirements (they seem doable, imo).
Why is this important, you may be asking? Simple. Fear vs. Self Confidence. It is a known statistical fact that a woman that doesn't APPEAR afraid is less likely to be a victim of a violent attack. It's one of the first axioms of any self defense class. Don't look down, look confident. People that want to commit a violent attack (rape, mugging, etc) are looking for a victim, someone who appears weak. Fear causes very specific body language and violent offenders can see it, smell it, and taste it.
To me, self confidence is in direct correlation with rather you can and would fight back if attacked. If you could actually take that fucker down if he came after you. Making yourself a predator as opposed to prey. If you KNOW you can defend yourself, it shows. Your body language and general attitude change.
Since Satanism is a Warrior Ethos largely and a path of self empowerment, your ability to defend yourself should be a cornerstone. It is to me. The physical should mirror the spiritual (can't find a better word). Otherwise it's mental masturbation, without true manifestation.
So let me ask you few questions, do you think Satan would hide in a bathroom crying or would Satan have been armed and capable of fighting back? If you are a Satan, what would you do in that situation? Are you mentally and physically prepared to fight back?
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