I AM: FROM FEMALESATAN'S BLOG
I am a stay at home mom (not true).
Who has five kids (is true).
Who dick rides men on the internet (not true but I like dick).
Who certain members at Circle talk shit about behind her back (prolly true)
Nobody respects (not true).
Who quit showing her tits at SIN because nobody wanted to see them (not true, Zach and others begged me on multiple occasions).
Attention whore (VERY true).
Drama Queen (True).
Cunt (also true).
Someone who uses petty personal attacks all the time (Yep).
Liar (absolutely).
Open Book (not true, I guarantee you know less than you think you do about me).
Is stupid (Not true. If I was I wouldn't still be here).
The point is this, I know what people say about me. I always have. If you think rehashing the same old shit about me is going to make me run away and cry in the corner, you are wrong.
So you don't like me as a person. Good, I didn't want you to. You hate me. I got under your skin for some reason. I reflected some concept you have trouble with handling. I stomped on your moral sensibilities. Whatever, you have decided to dismiss me based on who I am.
None of this common string of attacks I receive touches on WHY my ideas are bad. I wanted you to tell me what is wrong with my ideas, put them to scrutiny. You can't or you would have by now. The few that have put my ideas to the test, have earned my respect. The few who have made me think, have earned my respect.
I can guarantee if you are using ANY of the above to take a low blow at me, you aren't on my respect list.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
What Versus Why
WHAT VERSUS WHY FROM FEMALESATAN'S BLOG
Who, what, when, where, why and how. When I was in school I had a teacher that said to process anything you need to be able to actually answer all of these questions. She always laid out tests this way. I do this whenever I am fooling around with a new idea.
When I look at the amount of writing about Satanism it's the what not the why. Now this sounds strange but think about it.
That's what we do, we discuss the what. Over and over again.
Some people misappropriate the What and think it's the why over and over again. It's where the softer version of Satanism comes from. Someone taking the what and making it the why.
They have misunderstood that all a writer can do is tell you what this is.
The why can be explained but it's incredibly difficult to understand without experience.
A great example is the doing meme. People will say they 'do' Satanism but the why can't be explained. They do it because they do goddammit. This makes that whole concept watered down and meaningless. Especially if the what isn't accurately understood either.
Who 'does' Satanism? What is 'doing' Satanism? When do you 'do' Satanism? Where do you 'do' Satanism? Why do you 'do' Satanism? How do you 'do' Satanism?
Answer the questions and get back to me.
Who, what, when, where, why and how. When I was in school I had a teacher that said to process anything you need to be able to actually answer all of these questions. She always laid out tests this way. I do this whenever I am fooling around with a new idea.
When I look at the amount of writing about Satanism it's the what not the why. Now this sounds strange but think about it.
That's what we do, we discuss the what. Over and over again.
Some people misappropriate the What and think it's the why over and over again. It's where the softer version of Satanism comes from. Someone taking the what and making it the why.
They have misunderstood that all a writer can do is tell you what this is.
The why can be explained but it's incredibly difficult to understand without experience.
A great example is the doing meme. People will say they 'do' Satanism but the why can't be explained. They do it because they do goddammit. This makes that whole concept watered down and meaningless. Especially if the what isn't accurately understood either.
Who 'does' Satanism? What is 'doing' Satanism? When do you 'do' Satanism? Where do you 'do' Satanism? Why do you 'do' Satanism? How do you 'do' Satanism?
Answer the questions and get back to me.
Personal Anecdote Blog
PERSONAL ANECDOTE BLOG FROM FEMALESATAN'S BLOG
I was walking down the street one day and heard two guys called me some shitty ass names. I froze, my scared little bunny came out.
But they pulled into a subway real close by, maybe a hundred feet. I stood there and it hit me. Who are you really? Are you the kind of person that takes that? Are you going to take this? What are you going to do? Just walk off or stand up for yourself? How many times does someone say something like that and then pull into a place that close to you?
This was followed by going to worst case scenario in my mind. Will they beat me up? Maybe they'll shoot me if I confront them. What's the worst that could happen (answer everybody dies, every time)?
Go for it. Face it and see what happens, actually stand up for yourself.
So I walked up and wrote down their license plate number. Walked in the Subway.
I screamed, "Hey what you said to me isn't fucking cool! You need to apologize to me! I am a person!"
Everyone jumped including the sandwich artist. The turned around. Now at this point they were pretty fucking scary in my mind. What they really were was something else entirely. They were both teenagers, one of them was in a Cub Scout uniform, LOL.
They both started hurriedly apologizing. I told them I wasn't going to call the cops and left.
Now, I know this is a little silly but it wasn't to me. It was a defining moment in my life, a moment that I practically applied this shit I talk about. I stood up and I said something. I proved to me I was the kind of person that says something when I get fucked with like that.
I was walking down the street one day and heard two guys called me some shitty ass names. I froze, my scared little bunny came out.
But they pulled into a subway real close by, maybe a hundred feet. I stood there and it hit me. Who are you really? Are you the kind of person that takes that? Are you going to take this? What are you going to do? Just walk off or stand up for yourself? How many times does someone say something like that and then pull into a place that close to you?
This was followed by going to worst case scenario in my mind. Will they beat me up? Maybe they'll shoot me if I confront them. What's the worst that could happen (answer everybody dies, every time)?
Go for it. Face it and see what happens, actually stand up for yourself.
So I walked up and wrote down their license plate number. Walked in the Subway.
I screamed, "Hey what you said to me isn't fucking cool! You need to apologize to me! I am a person!"
Everyone jumped including the sandwich artist. The turned around. Now at this point they were pretty fucking scary in my mind. What they really were was something else entirely. They were both teenagers, one of them was in a Cub Scout uniform, LOL.
They both started hurriedly apologizing. I told them I wasn't going to call the cops and left.
Now, I know this is a little silly but it wasn't to me. It was a defining moment in my life, a moment that I practically applied this shit I talk about. I stood up and I said something. I proved to me I was the kind of person that says something when I get fucked with like that.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Friend is a rather vacuous term in today's society isn't it? It doesn't denote someone that is part of your tribe, it denotes someone that you know passingly to most. It's become a bullshit term. A term that is thrown around, used by people to get, get, get, not necessarily give back.
A term that is used to exert control, to force a conformity on you, that quite simply, I can't abide at times. It makes me angry to see this happen and it happens everywhere.
Now, I don't view friendship in terms of when I am doing well. The frank truth is when you are riding high, everyone likes you. When you have, people love the shit outta you.
When I contemplate who my friends are, I think about the other times. The times the shit hit the fan. Who had my back? Who was there for me when I was at my lowest?
That's a short list, a very short list. People that were there not because I had something that they wanted but because I was one of theirs. A resonance that is borne of something deeper than just a friendship. A moment of commonality and companionship that runs deeper than any of the hubris that it defined as friendship by most.
It's something simple and something indescribably deep in places. A knowing, that this person would actually be there for me, they have already been there for me and in return I will be there for me when they fall down and have their bad moment.
Not to gain but because by knowing them I have gained something precious and irreplaceable. I gained a tribe. So I have no choice but to honor that bond, not out of a loss of freewill or a need to conform but because finding that with someone else, anybody else in a World where most people lack the ability to do that on such a fundamental level, is to precious to violate the terms of that silent agreement you made at that moment.
A term that is used to exert control, to force a conformity on you, that quite simply, I can't abide at times. It makes me angry to see this happen and it happens everywhere.
Now, I don't view friendship in terms of when I am doing well. The frank truth is when you are riding high, everyone likes you. When you have, people love the shit outta you.
When I contemplate who my friends are, I think about the other times. The times the shit hit the fan. Who had my back? Who was there for me when I was at my lowest?
That's a short list, a very short list. People that were there not because I had something that they wanted but because I was one of theirs. A resonance that is borne of something deeper than just a friendship. A moment of commonality and companionship that runs deeper than any of the hubris that it defined as friendship by most.
It's something simple and something indescribably deep in places. A knowing, that this person would actually be there for me, they have already been there for me and in return I will be there for me when they fall down and have their bad moment.
Not to gain but because by knowing them I have gained something precious and irreplaceable. I gained a tribe. So I have no choice but to honor that bond, not out of a loss of freewill or a need to conform but because finding that with someone else, anybody else in a World where most people lack the ability to do that on such a fundamental level, is to precious to violate the terms of that silent agreement you made at that moment.
Friday, October 25, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Sugar And Spice And Everything Nice
That's what Sinister Girls are made of.
femalesatan@yahoo.com
Comments welcome. I have to approve them first.
femalesatan@yahoo.com
Comments welcome. I have to approve them first.
Monday, September 30, 2013
In For A Penny, In For A Pound
I don't want to do this, I really don't. I simply want to move forward with my life and continue down my Path, SIN free. However, I looked at the homepage and you motherfuckers are killing me.
Okay, there is some air to clear. Zach is lying through his motherfucking teeth. I did NOT cuss him out via pm and I have the screnshots to prove it.
Now this is the first conversation in pm that we had. Note the date. This conversation is occurring on Spetember 6, 2013. See me and Zach had a huge dust up right before his dust up with JK. Now why does this matter? Because I simply stated my opinion, he blew up and called me names. I apologized to him to let the dust settle and let SIN move forward. I knew if it continued I would have my head chopped off. I didn't want that.
Here is the second set:
Again, note the date. This second set of pms occurs immediately after my first suspension. Was I warned before my first suspension? No, I was simply suspended. Did I cuss him out? Fuck no, that's to easy. I told him not to big dog and make threats. Now I did blow up on the forums immediately after the last pm was sent and said FUCK YOU ZACH. I was then re-suspended. Now this asshole keeps claiming that everyone doesn't know the conversations that occurred. Now you do. If he had pms that made me look bad, he would fucking share them. He did in the JK incident.
What Zach has consistently failed to realize is that my issues with him were before JK's issues. I did swallow my pride and bend over like a bitch the first time, I didn't the second time. I honestly think he is suffering from a combination of delusions and paranoia at this point. I say that because he doesn't even remember suspending Dan, he tells everyone I cussed him out in pm and truckload over other shit that is flat out false. It's like his memory is going at this point.
Another example of this outright lying is when he tells people I was axed from his Admin team. I was never an Admin. I was a Moderator and the Moderator position was removed at SIN. Two Moderators were moved to Admin (Cassie and Sammie). The rest of us were simply cut due to 'to many complaints.' Were most of those complaints about me? Yep, but again I was never warned to calm down or back off (I was told once not to be a Morgan but that was literally months before he axed Mods).
Now, on to the part that may surprise people. I don't want to be reinstated. I see how this would go and let me give you an example:
(I am un-suspended) Fuck you Zach, little whiny dog my ass. That's why you axed me instead of addressing a single point I made. man fuck you.
(re-suspended)
(I am un-suspended) Seriously, Zach you are not David Lee Roth and people that post here are the band members behind you. You are the owner of the fucking club that the band plays in. Nothing more. You are insignificant in the grand scheme of things, all you provide is the venue.
(re-suspended)
You get the idea? This would go on in perpetuity until I either 1. deleted my account or 2. Zach kept me suspended. So, it's over and done. The relationship I had with Zach is over and I am fine with that. I don't agree with the general direction that SIN is now headed and I would be vocal as Hell about it. It's bullshit.
I remember when Zach used to say that his Admin could suspend him if he got out of line. This was even tested at one point. He could still post, his physical page just said 'this User is suspended' when you clicked on it. I remember when he made Beast the manager because he said he was to hot headed to handle the decision making shit at SIN. I remember him taking a consensus in the forums consistently and LISTENING to it. If people felt he was out of line he would back up, examine the situation and change his behavior. I remember when Zach would post things thanking people for contributing and told everyone that their contribution mattered.
It's not that way now. He has declared himself The Supreme Dictator of SIN and that shit needs to be called the fuck out. I would have expected the call outs that have occurred to be a wake up call to the guy. It certainly used to be a wake up call when people did that. He's changed, he's now saying things like he built SIN single handedly. Again, horseshit his Users built that site. He doesn't contribute in any meaningful way in the forums, he never has.
I was at home on the site where the site owner was willing to admit wrongdoing, I was at home at the site where the site owner wanted his Admin team to have the ability to axe him. I am not at home at this current site. I feel like I am logging into a place that was a shell of its former glory. A place where mediocrity is valued over stratification.
I knew that I was talking shit to a motherfucking asshole drunk on alcohol, power, fame and the influence of undesirables who are using him to gain fame for their bullshit organization. I also knew he possessed a ban hammer. It's the reason for the apology the first time around. So I own my role in it. I deserve the ban and I don't want to be reinstated. I need people there to quit acting like I am a martyr. I am not. I am someone who shit talked someone with a ban hammer and payed a price for it. It's simple, let it fall off of the front page and die already.
I wouldn't come back to what I largely see as a cesspool of mediocrity with a Supreme Dictator running all. There are some quality posters there but they post elsewhere so I can catch their work. I would also like to add one more thing, I thoroughly enjoyed my time at SIN while I was there. Some of my associations shaped me, changed my Worldview, made me think, made me mad, made me laugh, made me cry. I have made some true friends there as well. I have also been really surprised at the people who stood up and said it was bullshit that I was axed. It makes me proud to of associated with y'all.
However, it is time for me to move forward. To do something different. To test out some new shark infested waters and see how the experience goes. The front page of that site say 'Adapt or be crushed under the wheels of Satanic (in my opinion take that word out) progress. The wheel turned, I didn't adapt and I got crushed. So what, in the grand scheme of things I am still here, I am still writing and SIN goes on.
Okay, there is some air to clear. Zach is lying through his motherfucking teeth. I did NOT cuss him out via pm and I have the screnshots to prove it.
Now this is the first conversation in pm that we had. Note the date. This conversation is occurring on Spetember 6, 2013. See me and Zach had a huge dust up right before his dust up with JK. Now why does this matter? Because I simply stated my opinion, he blew up and called me names. I apologized to him to let the dust settle and let SIN move forward. I knew if it continued I would have my head chopped off. I didn't want that.
Here is the second set:
Again, note the date. This second set of pms occurs immediately after my first suspension. Was I warned before my first suspension? No, I was simply suspended. Did I cuss him out? Fuck no, that's to easy. I told him not to big dog and make threats. Now I did blow up on the forums immediately after the last pm was sent and said FUCK YOU ZACH. I was then re-suspended. Now this asshole keeps claiming that everyone doesn't know the conversations that occurred. Now you do. If he had pms that made me look bad, he would fucking share them. He did in the JK incident.
What Zach has consistently failed to realize is that my issues with him were before JK's issues. I did swallow my pride and bend over like a bitch the first time, I didn't the second time. I honestly think he is suffering from a combination of delusions and paranoia at this point. I say that because he doesn't even remember suspending Dan, he tells everyone I cussed him out in pm and truckload over other shit that is flat out false. It's like his memory is going at this point.
Another example of this outright lying is when he tells people I was axed from his Admin team. I was never an Admin. I was a Moderator and the Moderator position was removed at SIN. Two Moderators were moved to Admin (Cassie and Sammie). The rest of us were simply cut due to 'to many complaints.' Were most of those complaints about me? Yep, but again I was never warned to calm down or back off (I was told once not to be a Morgan but that was literally months before he axed Mods).
Now, on to the part that may surprise people. I don't want to be reinstated. I see how this would go and let me give you an example:
(I am un-suspended) Fuck you Zach, little whiny dog my ass. That's why you axed me instead of addressing a single point I made. man fuck you.
(re-suspended)
(I am un-suspended) Seriously, Zach you are not David Lee Roth and people that post here are the band members behind you. You are the owner of the fucking club that the band plays in. Nothing more. You are insignificant in the grand scheme of things, all you provide is the venue.
(re-suspended)
You get the idea? This would go on in perpetuity until I either 1. deleted my account or 2. Zach kept me suspended. So, it's over and done. The relationship I had with Zach is over and I am fine with that. I don't agree with the general direction that SIN is now headed and I would be vocal as Hell about it. It's bullshit.
I remember when Zach used to say that his Admin could suspend him if he got out of line. This was even tested at one point. He could still post, his physical page just said 'this User is suspended' when you clicked on it. I remember when he made Beast the manager because he said he was to hot headed to handle the decision making shit at SIN. I remember him taking a consensus in the forums consistently and LISTENING to it. If people felt he was out of line he would back up, examine the situation and change his behavior. I remember when Zach would post things thanking people for contributing and told everyone that their contribution mattered.
It's not that way now. He has declared himself The Supreme Dictator of SIN and that shit needs to be called the fuck out. I would have expected the call outs that have occurred to be a wake up call to the guy. It certainly used to be a wake up call when people did that. He's changed, he's now saying things like he built SIN single handedly. Again, horseshit his Users built that site. He doesn't contribute in any meaningful way in the forums, he never has.
I was at home on the site where the site owner was willing to admit wrongdoing, I was at home at the site where the site owner wanted his Admin team to have the ability to axe him. I am not at home at this current site. I feel like I am logging into a place that was a shell of its former glory. A place where mediocrity is valued over stratification.
I knew that I was talking shit to a motherfucking asshole drunk on alcohol, power, fame and the influence of undesirables who are using him to gain fame for their bullshit organization. I also knew he possessed a ban hammer. It's the reason for the apology the first time around. So I own my role in it. I deserve the ban and I don't want to be reinstated. I need people there to quit acting like I am a martyr. I am not. I am someone who shit talked someone with a ban hammer and payed a price for it. It's simple, let it fall off of the front page and die already.
I wouldn't come back to what I largely see as a cesspool of mediocrity with a Supreme Dictator running all. There are some quality posters there but they post elsewhere so I can catch their work. I would also like to add one more thing, I thoroughly enjoyed my time at SIN while I was there. Some of my associations shaped me, changed my Worldview, made me think, made me mad, made me laugh, made me cry. I have made some true friends there as well. I have also been really surprised at the people who stood up and said it was bullshit that I was axed. It makes me proud to of associated with y'all.
However, it is time for me to move forward. To do something different. To test out some new shark infested waters and see how the experience goes. The front page of that site say 'Adapt or be crushed under the wheels of Satanic (in my opinion take that word out) progress. The wheel turned, I didn't adapt and I got crushed. So what, in the grand scheme of things I am still here, I am still writing and SIN goes on.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)