The Public School System

Americans are blessed right? Our populace and it's children have access to free schooling. This is something that people in other countries would kill for, their children being taught how to read and write. I had a Muslim friend in Grade School and one of the reasons her family moved to the US was to enable his daughters to have an education.

This is an assumed right by the majority of American people. It's been instilled in all of us that we are entitled to an Education and that it must fit a "standard" of some kind.

The issue with this is multi fold as far as I am concerned. I always question my children being forced to go to an institution. And schooling of some kind is forced on the populace. There are laws if your kids don't go. Another example of this standard is my husband. He graduated from a private school system, gets out, tries to apply for college and finds out his Highschool was not accredited and so his education doesn't count. Wtf?

Now beyond all this is what the public school system does. It teaches children to be compliant, docile and accepting of what society says is correct. A few examples.

My children have to wear uniforms. Why? To reduce bullying, gang fights (high school dealio), etc. Now all I see is not allowing a child to express themselves and a silent message that they are part of a mass and not an individual. My daughter said to me once, "I can't tell anybody apart." Bam, the realization that this is a form of forced conformity.

Then there are school supplies. They don't get bought by the parent here. You give the school system a certain amount of money and the school supplies are provided. Why? As a teacher told me once they don't want any kids to "stick out " for having something different or their parents not being able to afford them. So I also pay for the poor kids as well apparently, lol. I grew up po' (southern word, means DIRT POOR or you so po' you can't afford dirt. ), but I got school supplies.

Beyond that you have the anti bullying, zero tolerance violence, and other policies in place furthering this status quo, politically correct ideals. This is the school's
culture. You can be kicked out of your school, taken away from your friends, if you hit a kid back. Think about what mental programming that puts in a five year old's head. I CAN'T hit back or I lose things I love /like.

And that's my issue. How do I send my children to an institution that doesn't allow them to express themselves as individuals? Or forces them to learn to not fight back  when being attacked? Or tells them what to think?

And I see it when they come home. When they say things like "but you NEVER hit." Bullshit. When they say that "the white men killed all the Indians to take their land. " When they say they love everybody in the whole world.

They are being forced to conform. They are being forced to agree. They are being forced to be docile. They are being forced to believe the government is good and has their best interests at heart.

I am their Mother. I am supposed to protect them. Does that not also mean waking up and saying "Hey!! You don't get to make my kids drones."?  Does it not mean I have to figure out a way to take back my children's education from the very thing I hate.

So I supplement as best I can. I tell them to question it. That maybe their teacher isn't right. However, there is more I can do. And it's my goal in regards to this issue. To find a way to educate my children myself. To get them away from that drone creating factory called the public school system.

FS

Kool Shit

WP just posted a few images that show that Nature can never truly be put down by civilization. Check it out ...

Recent Events

So, in light of recent events I wanted to talk about others. I have had a shit load of well ... shit thrown at me for my personal life, I have had threads written about me, blogs written about me, etc.

Now my question to others is this, why do you care? Why does what I do matter to you so much? Why am I even on your mind to this extent?

Let me be frank, when it comes to you, I don't give a fuck. I don't care who you sleep with, what your income is, what your life choices are, or any of that. You don't matter to me, shit the few personal details I have on people I can barely remember.

Why? I don't know you. All I know is what you write. The internet is not really a place to get to know others personally. It's a format where one can exchange ideas, information, maybe refine their rhetoric, other than that it's worthless.

I am a member of a popular Satanic networking site. I have two radio shows. I blog my ass off. That doesn't mean you know me. That means I use these formats for my own personal reasons.

The Sinister Feminine needs representation and development. Satanism is a joke in this current Male dominated incarnation. There is something I find inherently feminine about the ideas that the word Satan represents.

That's why I am here. Satanism has to shift away from this "maleness" that permeates it. I am on the interwebz to do that. For one voice on that testosterone fueled site to compare understanding the ONA to Motherhood. For one voice on that  radio show to represent the Darkness as a woman, vicious and strong.

Don't like my approach? Don't like the fact that I don't fuck jaded nerds? Don't like the fact that I am not just a cyber whore who kisses your ass? Don't like the fact that I think an orientation towards culture is just as important as transgression? Don't like the fact that I sexually manipulate mundanes? Think I am a joke of some kind? A fangirl?

Fuck you. I am not stopping, stepping back or backing down. I am not going to go away just because you don't approve. Like I said before, YOU don't matter. I don't care about your little opinions based on no real life experience.

You're not even worthy of this blog. I am just enough of a drama queen to write this. Why? You're thinking about me, you're posting your opinions on me. I am not doing the same about you (this the obvious exception) . You're spreading my ideas and I have received pm's from people asking what I am going to do, why I put up with it, etc.

This is why just caught another little Sinister flower as a result of this (one chick read the bullshit, read my blog and I sent her to other sites) . She may not do anything with it, but my goal is just one more woman. Just one, women are hives. ;)

LOL, I Love Conflict

I want to talk about the lolapalooza that is the average Modern Satinist attack against "Niners " in general. Keeps happening lately. ;)

The insult thrown out the most is, "I am an Individual and bow and follow nobody. " This is always followed by laughable insults of a personal nature, accusations of being a fan girl or boy, or hanging off someone's nuts.

Now, the Individuality argument always fails because these people that throw out the Individuality, I am a wolf among the herd bullshit, always tow "the herd's " line. They are against violence. They are against Racism, Anarchism, Nazism and a host of things that the largest collective in the World subscribes to, the very essence of the Magian made manifest in an individual's psyche.

I don't know a single individual, regardless of their leanings, that would say "Yep, I am a sheep, following a herd." Every one of those sheep, feel they are making their own choices. Every one of those sheep feel they are individualist.

See, part of the trick the system offers is the Perception of Choice. Basically, all of are told, "Choose whatever you want to be. There's nobody controlling you. " It's a lie. I have kids and I let them choose what to eat on occasion. I give them three or four choices and let them pick from them. Last night, my son got me on this one. He said, "My choice?" I said yes. He said, "I want chocolate cake for dinner. " I said, "That's not a choice available. "

That's the essence of what the system does. It lays out a few options and let's you choose from them, while hiding the existence of Chocolate Cake.

So, you have a whole group of people that claim to be Satanists, while towing the party line. Saying things like, "I don't oppose the system, I want to manipulate it and than become it." Um, yeah that's another lie the system tells. Do this set of things and you'll "Master the System." No, you'll be a more willing slave.

I read something about the Civil War, that said House Niggers were less likely to run from their Masters. There was an account of a maid that even after the War, being set free and all that, she refused to leave the family that owned her. Worked for them until she died.

That's who you become if you decide to go that route. You become the type who feels superior to other slaves and free, but you're more bound than a "lesser " slave is. That's all most Satinists are. People who have decided they can or will dominate the System. When the reality is, they never ask for chocolate cake, they don't even know it exists.

I want cake, most "Niners " I know want cake. That's the thing, most of the things that get the, "Oh My God, the ONA is Evil RUN!!!", reaction are the real Devils of today. Even the idea of a Kollective or collaboration hits that note of fear with Satinists.

Why? They know, way deep down they are sheep. They know they are chained and enslaved, I believe everybody does deep down. The thing that always struck me about the movie The Matrix, was how you never notice how fake the simulated world  looks, until Neo goes back in. The second (and every other time)  time I watched The Matrix, I noticed all kinds of fakeness, from the very start of the movie.

So, they know, it whispers in the back of their minds "I am a willing slave. " This is why they fight so hard against anything that truly opposes society and the status quo, that's why the thought of being part of a collective scares them.  Anything truly heretical is "to far."

It's my biggest beef with Modern Satanism. When I decided to go online, I expected to get offended, I expected to be manipulated, I expected to get used, talked shit about when I wasn't around, etc. I did not expect Satanists to be politically correct. I did not think Satanists would run screaming from ideas that are truly radical, heretical, gross and profane.

Isn't that why the label is Satanism and not called Super Serial Individualism? Because Satan  represents what people fear, what they hate and despise. So, the individuals taking that label on become feared, hated and despised.

I can always tell a real Satanist from a Satinist in a fundamental way. A "true" Satanists sets off my fight or fly instinct instantly. They make me feel a touch of fear as soon as I read what they wrote or see them face to face. I never lose that entirely, I am always a touch scared, while being intrigued and interested at the same time. It's instinctual.

The funniest part of all, is ONA uses these heretical forms people want to claim to be Satanists run from, in order to create Individuals. Not the Magian bullshit version, but people who have truly made their own choices. They have crossed their mental lines, transgressed society's norms and are in an active process of learning who they really are, freeing themselves of Causal abstractions, while choosing their own. The ONA is breeding individuals who are true Individuals, who understand that collaboration is critical. Everyone seeks their own kind out, socialization is a fundamental human need. Collaboration is necessary for the System, and the Enemy to be toppled once and for all.

So keep misunderstanding, keep talking shit. You just show your level of ignorance, your lack of understanding of fundamentals of human nature.

FS3.0

Learning Through Adversity

Any knowledge that is not rooted in experience is suspect. One sentence that boils the essence of a Praxis to it's most basic wording.

The issue with most of humanity is putting stock in their own opinions and what one thinks about any subject. There is even a delightful selection of labels to choose from, that let people know how you think about things. Most are bound to these rather Democrat, Republican, Christian or Satanist. A label based on thought, rather than action.

But what do most do? What is their true knowledge? Do these labels for thinking in a Super Serial manner indicate who that individual is?

As I interact with others, I see most of these terms of identification are meaningless to most. Is there a difference between a Democrat and a Republican? Not really. What about a Christian and a Satanist? Not for most. I despise it.

I have never really cared what "affiliation " one claims as long as they are living it, applying the philosophical constructs they espouse, in their daily lives. I can't stand a lying, cheating, selfish Christian, the same as I can't stand Satanists who still espouse morality, living within the law and the upholding of society's values over the individual and self sovereignty.

It annoys me because anything I truly believe I live. My life has been complicated, difficult, full of just as much success as failure, mind twisting at it's most difficult, full of heartbreak, strife, and adversity, but I have survived all of it. Grown stronger due to the hardship.

The funny thing about learning through real adversity, is you don't become "nice " or "good." You become harder, more willing to do whatever it takes to survive, to thrive, to do better. You lose the comfort of depending on others, rather society or people, in favor of you and your own judgment.

One year ago, I joined SIN. So I could interact with Satanists. I learn better by doing and interacting, not reading. Things I read have to relate to my life, or I don't really "get it." If I can find a mental bridge between the idea being presented and my own life, it clicks pretty quickly.

Finding and exploring Satanism has been the single most liberating experience of my life. I lacked the language to explain my own personal philosophical thoughts. Satanism has always felt more like RE-membering,  than learning something knew. I said on the Ooze once, "I feel like I am remembering what I always knew. " That still rings true.

At the end of the day, rhetoric is just rhetoric, opinions are just opinions, ideas are just ideas, and it's mostly meaningless bullshit.  Knowledge is a personal thing, based on experience, not what others know or think. Let your Satanism bleed out, color and affect every aspect of your life. I firmly believe there is no aspect of life that is free from being infected. No part of my life where I don't apply that Praxis, nothing that isn't altered by my own knowledge and experience.

FS3.0

A Woman's Intuition ....

<p>does exist. It's a difficult thing to explain. Without logical thought attached, without any real thought process involved, I just do things. I get a "gut feeling " and know what to do, and I will know beyond the shadow of a doubt I am right.</p>
<p>When I had my oldest son, I read every book on children, parenting and pregnancy I could. I was book learned on the subject. Which means I didn't have a fucking clue what to do.</p>
<p>Now he had colic and I mean bad. Constantly screaming at the top of his lungs. I took him to the doctor. I read up on colic the different holds to comfort him, etc. None of it worked. So, one day I put him on my legs so that he was straddling them. I started bouncing my legs up and down. I started singing a song (giddy up horsey up and down, giddy up horsey go to town, giddy up horsey, don't
.. fall... down) .

Well, he started burping. Than he smiled. His first smile. He slept that night, no colicky episode. Suddenly, I had this intuition based trick to solve colic.

All of parenting has been like that. Like I know what to do if I stop and listen to that little voice. If I know, that I well... know.

Modern society squashes this. It establishes authorities and experts on these basic things that all of us are biologically programmed to do. Parent, love, eat, sleep, move our bodies, even breathe.

I was taught to not listen to that inner voice, but to rely on these authorities to tell me how to do the most basic of things, the things that are what life is truly about.

I found myself thinking on this due to a blog that's comments were about good and evil. An overly opinionated Modern Satinist decided to say that revenge killings are wrong and the state should handle this. Ankle bracelets and psychological treatment for dross!!

Nah, that's the kind of bullshit that goes against any logical reasoning I can find. I was given a set of creatures I love and will do anything to protect and nurture. While the "nurture " side is still considered societally acceptable, the protection aspect is ignored. How many women do you know that could, would, or even knows how to protect themselves? How many women that could would, or even know how to protect their young.

A human being is a two legged predator. It's a known fact. Society has domesticated us. However, hidden, whispering through everyone's subconscious is the knowledge of what they really are. Something vicious, terrifying, horrible, and somehow, indescribably beautiful.

Anyway, as the thread continued, the parents participating, "got it. " Even an ooey, soft and gooey new ager wrote "If somebody fucks with my babies, they better hope the pigs get them first. " Right on, that's what I want to cultivate within myself.

That emotional tone, that wordless, intuitive, I will kill for the ones I love, whore myself out for the ones I love, steal for the ones I love, no price is to great, no sacrifice to much to bear. That extends to myself first and than bleeds out to cover in differing amounts my people, the people I consider my tribe.

See, that is to me the "spiritual " or mindspace place. The emotional element. Next comes "drawing it down. " Doing things to manifest that in me, my body and my life. Testing myself to see where the line exists, developing the skills to make it a reality.

I have no personal use for the tattered representations of womanhood and motherhood that most occult schools have. Focusing on the nurturing aspects while denying that women are predators, killers in their own right. This is why I love Baphomet as an archetype, as the representation of the woman I want to become.

There has to come a point when a woman acts on that woman's intuition, become in the physical, that undercurrent that whispers in our minds. Manifest it, rather than just talk about it. Lose the abstractions that hide that true nature.

Nothing will ever be as misunderstood, evil, or maligned in a patriarchal society as woman. That's why an embracing of the True Feminine, the Sinister Feminine is essential in this time period, in an era of a broken Religious God, replaced by a society,it's Government and status quo memes.

FS3.0

Quote :

Oh sweet dear dead baby Jesus, FS thinks she's the Devil again ....

CP9.0

Influence

Everyone in the world thinks they are unaffected, that they are free mentally, and individuals. The truth is everyone is influenced, everyone is inspired, affected and shaped by others, by the life they live.

I used to buy the Satanists are born not made idea. I used to believe one could become completely free of "environmental " memetics . I don't anymore. Would I be who I am right now, if I had made different choices? If I had lived a different life? No, so how can I say while being intellectually honest that I was born a Satanist? No,  I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that my life experiences made me who I am. I can honestly say I don't really give a fuck one way or another either. I'm over it. 

I'm "over" a lot at this point. I have influences, there are people who have deeply affected my view on the World. Rather through what they said or a lesson interaction with them imparted. That's how memetics are spread. Someone says something, writes something, or you experience something and bam! it hits you deeply, in an intuitive, almost indescribable manner. It gives words to a previously wordless conclusion.

Resonance is not manipulation. It's more emotional than logical. Even if the writer intends to manipulate (which really just means they "get" memetics and have focused theirs) . The writer has no control of how a work has been interpreted. Rarely if ever do two individuals get the same thing out of a work. Some are influenced and inspired, some think it's crap.

Let me give you an example, I love Crowley. I was a Thelemite for awhile (I liked Babalon) . However, I never dug his Magickal writings much. I loved his fiction and his autobiography. Moonchild is still a favorite of mine.  It hit me in that emotional place, I found the World created beautiful.

The memetics he inserted (and you can bet your ass there is. Moonchild is Thelma 101 in so many ways) , explained Thelema better than all his Magickal shit put together, for me personally. Most Thelemites would say it was The Book of Law.

The point is nobody is memetically resistant. There is a constant bombardment being thrown at you. You can't become "free" of these influences. They're everywhere. It's a matter of finding a way to fight back, establish a worldview that makes you more skeptical, less programmable.

The other part, for me at least is choice. I choose what memetics I am exposed to. I avoid television, radio, mainstream news, etc as much as possible. I avoid institutions I disagree with, don't shop at stores whose business practices I abhor, and avoid memetics I know I don't want to have to fight off. This enables me to choose my battles, and have more energy when I do fight.

It's one of the reasons I am not online as much. I would prefer to do my battling in real life at the moment. Plus, most threads consistent of two people arguing over their opinions. Rarely is the end result one or the other changing their mind. Those were the back and forths I enjoyed having, when someone actually changed their mind.

I have my own goals and reasons that I write. I do most things with a purpose now, have been for awhile.The main one being the fact that very few women do participate and I want to see more women participating. Why? I am a selfish bitch and want to read what they write. I want to read about how the ONA affects other women and their lives. So I do it myself in order to influence through example.

So,  I have started targeting women specifically. I will go comment on their shit and see how they react. Three have really surprised me as of late, they are brilliant in their own ways.

Anyway, this blog is done. I know it's rambling and goes off topic but I don't care. Now that I don't link my blogs up to other sites I feel free.

FS3.0