I just found out another woman I respect and admire has dropped the label Satanist. *sighs* I am always a happy for someone when I notice growth, notice a visible evolution in their thought process. To me it's proof they are doing the work, actually walking the walk so to speak. I always want to congragulate them for moving forward, moving to something new, striking their own path.
Then there's the OTHER part of me, the selfish part. It screams NO!!!!!, NOT AGAIN!!!! Come back. It's worse when it's a woman I respect and admire. This part of me feels a little sad, a little more alone when someone moves on.
Since I have started this journey I have come in direct contact with about ten women that fit the bill, that I resonated with. Out of 10 hmmmm..... let's see....... 1 is now a Chaoist, 1 is now a Philosophical Atheist, 1 has Luciferian leanings, 1 is making an offline transition, 1 is active at another network than I am, and 4 have just disappeared. Kinda depressing to be honest.
I have never once thought of changing my praxis. It doesn't even cross my mind, to me it's a "choiceless act", nothing else fits and I've looked around at a lot of different things. It FEELS right. I may change "associations", gain new influences, find a new author to admire, but it stays Satanism. Even when it's lonely, even when I have faced one of my biggest demons and feel my sanity breaking, it stays the same.
So this is me a little disheartened, a little sad at another Sinister Sister being silenced. I guess the Sinister Feminine wants it's walking representatives, silent, lurking in the shadows.
I think that this possible to be still sinister, while using a different label. The thing of it is that I wasn't 'living' Satanism like I should be. I talked for sure but I was only a Satanist on SIN or on blogs. This really bothered me. I actually just wrote a post on my blog about this very thing. I still embrace Satanism (as well as other occult subjects) but I understand what you're coming from. One more strong woman drops the label and moves on...
ReplyDeleteI am not going any where, FS. I keep the things that I learn. I integrate the LHP philosophy in my life still, even though I don't directly use the label. I am proud that I found Satanism. It is made me a better person. I disovered so much and learned so much.
I would like to comment again on this particular post because I wanted to announce that I feel comfortable with applying the label "Satanist" to myself again. My life is definitely improved since 2011. I was in a very bad spot and every day I struggled with depression and unhappiness (I was dependent on another person for things). Now, I am more independent, free, and happy than I ever was. I feel that I can call myself a Satanist without feeling like that I am lying. I hope that you're well FS. Even though we're Facebook buddies we don't get to talk as much as we should.
ReplyDelete-Heather (Ophelia) <3