Sakurai, I read your blog and the responses. Your blog was an illustration of why I fight back. Why I feel ALL women should know how to defend themselves. You weren't experiencing shyness. You are a walking victim. That was good old fashioned fear.
The minute you go out you are truly exposed, vulnerable. As an unarmed and untrained woman, you are scared as a result. Walking in a sea of predators. That guy who was acting weird set off your survival instinct. That's why you reacted the way you did. The knowledge in the back of your mind he could take what he wanted. He could have raped you, killed you, etc. Own that fact, it leads to an essential point.
While facing your fears is important and a critical part of the LHP, so is self defense. How can an individual feel self confidence if they would be a victim in a physical situation.? One of the things I have done as part of my praxis to lose shyness, is become a predator.
Shyness is simply fear manifesting. I am a smallish female myself. I figuredd out a while ago I wanted to be a predator. A walking manifestation of the Sinister Feminine. So, I carry pepper spray, a knife and a gun at all times. I have taken self defense classes. My physical fitness is almost a religion for me. I am now searching for a good fighting style to train in.
These things have made my confidence SOAR. I know that I can take someone down. I know I am just as ferocious as that idiot behind me. I always get "shyer" when I am unarmed, more afraid. Confidence can come from a piece of cold steel and the knowledge you can take someone twice your size down.
Get trained and armed. Most men don't get the crawling voice of being physically weak.
Hi FS, this is Sakura (or Cassandra) from SIN. Thank you so much for the blog response, I actually had never really thought of my shyness as hard, cold fear but it makes sense. I hate thinking of myself as a victim--I despise the word--but deep inside I know I'm too vulnerable for my own good. I did learn how to box but I haven't been able to go to the boxing gym anymore--got too crowded--so I ended up getting a year membership at a local gym where I do a lot of weight training (after taking WT I and II in school). I've been wanting to get myself a knife but how does one go about learning to use one with confidence? It's the same with my boxing, my coach would coach me--sure--but I never got to spar with anyone. I know it would be difficult to use my mitts on someone without ever have had to use them before. Punching a heavy bag just isn't the same. What you said about wanting to be a predator is what I had wanted ever since I was a kid, but I was just a weird mix of hot rage and timid shyness--fear. Thank you very much. Being physically and mentally stronger and fiercer has always been in the back of my mind, but after reading your blog--it will come forward.
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