It started as an intellectual exercise. I loved to debate is it a philosophy or a religion? Is online manifestation real or not real? What school of thought do I subscribe to? Etc, etc, etc, and on and on and on and on. Lately, it's changing, it's becoming more than a philosophy, more than a religion, more than a lifestyle.
It started small. A difference in the way I talked to my kids. An irritation at somebody who spends all of their time justifying and making excuses. A lack of understanding at why people bow to a Master. A small spark of hatred when I drove past a church. A thought that everyone is a zombie at the grocery store. A hatred of "big business" and "big fashion." Just passing thoughts and little changes. A tinkering here and there.
Then, it grew, it bled into more than just the way I thought and started affecting what I do. A complete overhaul at times of my life and my actions. It is constant. I have a hunger and desire to learn. A hunger and a desire to obtain more than my parents did. A hunger and a desire to improve myself in every possible aspect. A hunger and a desire to become my true self, and not be another shill to the system. A willingness to act, to do whatever it takes to take the next step, raise myself to the next plateau. And then the next plateau and the next one, never ending, always being better, always improving.
I don't know what my Satanism is anymore. I can't give you a word, a category to put it in. It's not something I think about as much and when I do intellectualize it, I realize I am remembering what I always knew. Becoming who I always was. Not a philosophy, not a religion, not a lifestyle, but me. Just a word, or a few words, that say exactly who I am. Who I will become, as I continue to progress. My Satanism bleeds and colors all of my actions, my hopes, my thoughts, my desires, and my very will. My Satanism bleeds. Does yours?
It started small. A difference in the way I talked to my kids. An irritation at somebody who spends all of their time justifying and making excuses. A lack of understanding at why people bow to a Master. A small spark of hatred when I drove past a church. A thought that everyone is a zombie at the grocery store. A hatred of "big business" and "big fashion." Just passing thoughts and little changes. A tinkering here and there.
Then, it grew, it bled into more than just the way I thought and started affecting what I do. A complete overhaul at times of my life and my actions. It is constant. I have a hunger and desire to learn. A hunger and a desire to obtain more than my parents did. A hunger and a desire to improve myself in every possible aspect. A hunger and a desire to become my true self, and not be another shill to the system. A willingness to act, to do whatever it takes to take the next step, raise myself to the next plateau. And then the next plateau and the next one, never ending, always being better, always improving.
I don't know what my Satanism is anymore. I can't give you a word, a category to put it in. It's not something I think about as much and when I do intellectualize it, I realize I am remembering what I always knew. Becoming who I always was. Not a philosophy, not a religion, not a lifestyle, but me. Just a word, or a few words, that say exactly who I am. Who I will become, as I continue to progress. My Satanism bleeds and colors all of my actions, my hopes, my thoughts, my desires, and my very will. My Satanism bleeds. Does yours?
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