I have firmly touted the idea that Satan is an archetype in the past. That my goal was to become a Female version of that archetype. I have fallen in love with the beauty of Gods like Babalon, Ishtar, Inanna, Tiamat, Isis, Kali Ma, etc. Any female Goddess I could find to put that beautiful, but dark label on. Forging a path I felt was unique and timeless, excitedly delving into mythological accounts, in an attempt to understand the Female Archetype of Satan. I found what I was looking for, and it was beyond anything I ever thought, and the ultimate realization was simple, I was wrong.
While there are mythological Gods and Goddesses that are representations of Satan, they are fun house mirrors. Each Goddess I have explored catches one aspect, one facet. None of them are the absolute Satan. They are twisted, partial reflections of what I intuitively feel Satan as a concept is. I have never found one that is an exact replica of me, or what I feel intuitively when I think of what Satan and Satanism represents. Never have. I have searched, looked, pondered, and debated this idea endlessly. I have read book after book, hoping somebody somewhere, would give me a hint.
Then it hit me. There is the physical universe. It has very specific constructs. I live in it, everyone does.
Beyond that, is ideas. Constantly bouncing off of each other, mutating, growing, changing, building on each other. Being interpreted by humans, evolved, blasted, made over, etc. Everything started as an idea. Ideas create more ideas, etc. So, what is Satan? hell what is everything I touch, smell, taste and see? An idea, brought into the physical by someone. Rather it's a computer, or an apple (ie, the apple got it's name, from the idea it represents).
Satan, is to me personally, just that an idea, a concept. A "Master Idea", that embodies about half of the ideas I encounter. Anything ugly, profane, unseen, feared, rejected, etc. Mr. Dread would use the word antimonian and it applies. So does heterodox. I define Satan roughly as, That which is rejected or unaccepted by society. By default, Satan is also that which opposes Society and it's constricts. A large concept, and a difficult one to explain.
Making Satanism a very basic thing. Embracing all of those dirty, ugly, awful, nasty shit rejected by society including but not limited to Racism, Nazism, Sexism, Hate Speech, Crime, etc in order to rid yourself of those Societal ideas that one was infected with from birth. That's the only way to determine what you as an Individual really think, by embracing what has been Demonized and seeing what is 'core' you or not 'core' you.
Somehow, I just know it. I just don't have the vocabulary to explain it in it's totality, I don't think it exists, in any language. It is something that has always been there, a dark veil over my whole life, whispering, "You're part of the darkness, admit. Embrace it and see what you truly are, what you will become."
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