Okay this blog has nothing and everything to do with Satanism and EVERYTHING to do with Satanism. I wrote a blog a couple weeks ago about why I have gotten into good physical shape. This is the second part and about the physical fitness course I signed up for. I will publish the exact physical training exercises in a part three blog. I wanted to touch on well, how much I suck and how I have a LONG way to go, before I am where I want to be.
So, the first day I get to the training site. It is a field with a small gym on it. Cool. Looks like fun, I am excited. Then I got my physical. I barely made it through the damn thing, and found out that if I was entering the military, I would meet the requirements for entry, but by the skin of my teeth. I weigh 109 lbs. which is a personal victory (I never weigh myself). I was told to quit smoking (that sucks, btw, day three and a headache), cut down coffee to one cup a day (I drank about three cups), no beer, no soda, no junk food, and to add more protein (I'm almost Vegetarian), more fruits and vegetables, etc. So, no more of the stuff I love. Not at the moment. I need to build muscle mass. So, an overhaul of my diet is required yet again.
Second Day: Now, the training starts. Now, I am over the moon that most other people that signed up are FAT. I get to laugh my ass off at them, knowing that I am there to build muscle mass and get in better shape, while they are there to lose weight. Wahoo!!! I am the queen. Nope, not even close.
Halfway through a ten mile run I had a heat stroke. The first one to fall, is what the trainer says. I am barfing, shaking, breaking into a cold sweat, crying hysterically, and my trainer is yelling, "First one down!!!!" Which causes everyone to stop and laugh. I have to wear a ribbon that says, "First down" everytime I go. Nice. I am paying to get made fun of at this point. I am going to a place to get told I am the weakest.
Third day: I wake up and every fucking part of my body hurts. I start crying in bed (it's 3 am, have to be at Hell at 4 am), from the pain. My right knee, which I injured in Highschool and have a degeneration of cartlidge in is three times it's normal size. Back to wearing a knee brace for this shit. I have to go, even though I don't want to, I have to fight past the pain and utter since of failure.
Get to the training site and it's popquiz time. First down (which is my official nick name, btw) has been selected to run through the initial physical fitness test again. I failed. I failed big time. The trainer tells me they randomly, have you redo the physical fitness test to show you that you were "fresh" the first time so did better. He calls it a reality check.
Fourth Day: Random laugh worthy shit. I am in my car and I am wearing flip flops trying to get the courage to pop all the blisters on my feet. I hate doing that, but they will pop while I'm running or now. Nine of them, fucking nine blisters. I pop all of them one by one. Then I do the normal thing, neosporin and a band aid. Put my foot on the ground and step on a bee. Get stung.
I'm in the middle of the P.T. portion later on. We're doing this suck fest of a set. Ten jumping jacks, then to the ground ten pushups, roll over ten situps (do this 5 sets, standard shit). A fucking bee climbs in my pants and stings me on the ass. Seriously.
Get home and am walking outside (random personal fact, I don't wear shoes at home, ever) and step on another bee. That is three bee stings in one day. LOL. Since it was the same foot both times, it is was swollen to twice it's normal size for 24 hours.
Fifth Day: Today, I get to the place and realize where there were 40 people, only 15 came today. I ask the trainer and he says, "First down, that's normal. Out of the 40 you started with, maybe 5 will finish the course. It's why the money is due up front and is nonrefundable." So, I am at least so far, surviving the course.
Now, while I was on the ten mile run, I had this moment. This incredible, and hard to describe moment. I suddenly could only hear my breath and my heart beating. All chatter was gone. I could hear the birds chirping, all the colors around me were brighter, and for a few moments, I felt free. No thoughts, nothing. Just me, my body, the sun and this clarity. A few moments of really being in the moment. I felt more alive then, than I have most times in my life. I've had that happen before while working out, but not like this. It was bigger, and more powerful than anything else. I have the Will to finish this. It's worth it, for that moment. That moment was reality, it's the only way I can explain it. Total and complete clarity.
So, the first day I get to the training site. It is a field with a small gym on it. Cool. Looks like fun, I am excited. Then I got my physical. I barely made it through the damn thing, and found out that if I was entering the military, I would meet the requirements for entry, but by the skin of my teeth. I weigh 109 lbs. which is a personal victory (I never weigh myself). I was told to quit smoking (that sucks, btw, day three and a headache), cut down coffee to one cup a day (I drank about three cups), no beer, no soda, no junk food, and to add more protein (I'm almost Vegetarian), more fruits and vegetables, etc. So, no more of the stuff I love. Not at the moment. I need to build muscle mass. So, an overhaul of my diet is required yet again.
Second Day: Now, the training starts. Now, I am over the moon that most other people that signed up are FAT. I get to laugh my ass off at them, knowing that I am there to build muscle mass and get in better shape, while they are there to lose weight. Wahoo!!! I am the queen. Nope, not even close.
Halfway through a ten mile run I had a heat stroke. The first one to fall, is what the trainer says. I am barfing, shaking, breaking into a cold sweat, crying hysterically, and my trainer is yelling, "First one down!!!!" Which causes everyone to stop and laugh. I have to wear a ribbon that says, "First down" everytime I go. Nice. I am paying to get made fun of at this point. I am going to a place to get told I am the weakest.
Third day: I wake up and every fucking part of my body hurts. I start crying in bed (it's 3 am, have to be at Hell at 4 am), from the pain. My right knee, which I injured in Highschool and have a degeneration of cartlidge in is three times it's normal size. Back to wearing a knee brace for this shit. I have to go, even though I don't want to, I have to fight past the pain and utter since of failure.
Get to the training site and it's popquiz time. First down (which is my official nick name, btw) has been selected to run through the initial physical fitness test again. I failed. I failed big time. The trainer tells me they randomly, have you redo the physical fitness test to show you that you were "fresh" the first time so did better. He calls it a reality check.
Fourth Day: Random laugh worthy shit. I am in my car and I am wearing flip flops trying to get the courage to pop all the blisters on my feet. I hate doing that, but they will pop while I'm running or now. Nine of them, fucking nine blisters. I pop all of them one by one. Then I do the normal thing, neosporin and a band aid. Put my foot on the ground and step on a bee. Get stung.
I'm in the middle of the P.T. portion later on. We're doing this suck fest of a set. Ten jumping jacks, then to the ground ten pushups, roll over ten situps (do this 5 sets, standard shit). A fucking bee climbs in my pants and stings me on the ass. Seriously.
Get home and am walking outside (random personal fact, I don't wear shoes at home, ever) and step on another bee. That is three bee stings in one day. LOL. Since it was the same foot both times, it is was swollen to twice it's normal size for 24 hours.
Fifth Day: Today, I get to the place and realize where there were 40 people, only 15 came today. I ask the trainer and he says, "First down, that's normal. Out of the 40 you started with, maybe 5 will finish the course. It's why the money is due up front and is nonrefundable." So, I am at least so far, surviving the course.
Now, while I was on the ten mile run, I had this moment. This incredible, and hard to describe moment. I suddenly could only hear my breath and my heart beating. All chatter was gone. I could hear the birds chirping, all the colors around me were brighter, and for a few moments, I felt free. No thoughts, nothing. Just me, my body, the sun and this clarity. A few moments of really being in the moment. I felt more alive then, than I have most times in my life. I've had that happen before while working out, but not like this. It was bigger, and more powerful than anything else. I have the Will to finish this. It's worth it, for that moment. That moment was reality, it's the only way I can explain it. Total and complete clarity.
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